The rainy season

Japan: So, the rainy season has started.

Me: The rainy season?

Japan: Yeah, it started the other day. It said so on the news.

Me: But it was pissing down over a week ago. Cats and dogs and all sorts.

Japan: Yeah, but that wasn’t the rainy season.  It said so on the news.

Me: So, how do they know?

Japan: Well, everybody’s been talking about it haven’t they? And now it’s official and everything. The rainy season has started.

Me: Why does it matter?

Japan: What do you mean?

Me: Well, who cares if it’s official and everything?

Japan: Look, it’s the rainy season. I was just letting you know that the rainy season has started.

Me: Does it rain at other times of the year?

Japan: Well, of course.

Me: Is it raining right now?

Japan: Erm, no…

Me: So, sometimes it doesn’t rain in the rainy season?

Japan: Right.

Me: And it rains when it isn’t the rainy season?

Japan: Right.

Me: But you still have a season you call “rainy”.

Japan: Yes. It’s, i mean, wait…Does your country have a rainy season?

Me: I’m from England. Every season is a rainy season.

Japan: Four rainy seasons!

Me: No, it’s–

Japan: That’s amazing!

Me: No–

Japan: It must be tough. So many umbrellas. And the humidity must be terrible. How can you live like that?

Me: It’s not always the rainy season. It’s just that you’re never more than an hour or so away from potential drizzle. Anyway, is the rainy season really a season?

Japan: Yes.

Me: How?

Japan: Well, it said so on the news. This week. Rainy season.

Me: But it’s spring. That’s an actual season.

Japan: And it’s rainy. So, that’s one as well.

Me: You like seasons so much you’ve got seasons within seasons.

Japan: You’ve got to love the seasons. Did i tell you that i’ve got four of them?

Me: Yeah, we’ve done that before.

Japan: Plus the rainy season.

Me: I’m not –

Japan: And job hiring season.

Me: Come on –

Japan: And cherry blossom season.

Me: Let’s –

Japan: And cherry picking season.

Me: I give up.

Japan: And autumn leaves season.

Me: Fuck it. I’ll join in.

Japan: And the ski season.

Me: The music festival season?

Japan: And the rice planting season.

Me: The rice harvest season?

Japan: And the Beaujolais season.

Me: The wedding season?

Japan: And…hang on. Don’t you have all these seasons in Drizzleland?

Me: I’m not sure we call all of those kinds of things “seasons”.

Japan: What do you call them?

Me: Well, er…Stuff That Happens…Things That People Do…Hobbies…

Japan: That’s a bit boring.

Me: Yeah, maybe. Anyway, when does this rainy season end?

Japan: Next month some time. Then it’ll officially be summer. It’ll be on the news.

Me: And how do they know?

Japan: Well, everybody will be talking about it, telling each other that it’s the end of the rainy season and the start of summer.

Me: But how does everybody know?

Japan: Well, it’ll be on the news.

Me: But –

Japan: Is it raining yet?

Me: No.

Japan: It will. It’s the rainy season.


June 4, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. SADNESS STRIKES AGAIN! (Part II) | Metamorphosis of Letters replied:

    […] The rainy season ( […]

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