Me: Some of your pets are a bit strange aren’t they?

Japan: Not really. Why? What do you mean?

Me: Dogs, for example.

Japan: They’re not strange.

Me: I once saw a man on the street pick up his dog’s shit in a plastic bag and then wipe the dog’s arse.

Japan: That’s strange.

Me: And people take their dogs for walks.

Japan: That’s fine.

Me: In bags.

Japan: What?

Me: People carry their dogs in bags. Or wrap them in designer coats. Or in push them in push chairs. Or drive them around in bicycle baskets, which is probably illegal.

Japan: Bicycles have their own laws. We know that already. Anyway, what’s wrong with carrying your dog? It might be tired.

Me: It’s a dog, not a kid. What happens if it needs a dump?

Japan: You drop it pretty quickly and wipe its arse?

Me: A while ago i saw a cute girl in a local bar with a pet hedgehog. She ordered some water for it so it could have drink like everyone else.

Japan: Cute!

Me: I saw a man in central Tokyo stood outside a convenience store having a cigarette holding a lime green dog lead that had a rabbit attached to it.

Japan: Kawaii!

Me: A rabbit? You carry your dogs but walk your rabbits? And then there’re turtles.

Japan: Turtles?

Me: Yeah, massive pet turtles just sat on the pavement munching on some lettuce as people walked past on a Sunday afternoon while the owner sat on a step and watched, effectively taking his turtles for a walk.

Japan: In Tokyo?

Me: Yep.

Japan: Sounds healthy.

Me: Yeah, unlike your cats. What’s going on with them? Are they feral or something?

Japan: Sort of. Why?

Me: They always seem to be skulking around raiding peoples rubbish outside instead of playing with fluffy toys or dead birds and watching TV.

Japan: Not all of them. What about my cat cafes?

Me: Good point. Cat cafes; where people pay good money to sit around with cats and stroke bored looking animals that would probably prefer to be hunting leftovers in dustbins and annoying people. And you’ve got dog cafes as well. Same thing, different animal.

Japan: So, i’ve got turtles having lunch on the pavement as people walk past carrying their dog or walking their rabbit, dodging hungry mangy homeless cats before going to a cafe so they can sit around stroking felines and canines at their own expense or feeding hedgehogs in bars.

Me: It would seem so, yes.

Japan: Some of my cute pets are a bit strange aren’t they?


June 5, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. Colleen replied:

    Sitting in a cafe (non-smoking) in Yokohama laughing out loud. Not that I don’t already get stares. Great blog.

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