Me: What’s nomihodai?

Japan: Nomihodai takes place in bars and restaurants. It means “all you can drink”.

Me: All you can drink?

Japan: Yep. It usually comes with a time limit and everybody pays the same flat rate which isn’t too expensive actually.

Me: All you can drink?

Japan: Yes.

Me: Like a buffet?

Japan: Yeah, right, kind of.

Me: But for…drinks?

Japan: Right.

Me: And these are common.

Japan: Of course. Everybody enjoys a good nomihodai.

Me: What can you drink?

Japan: Well, alcohol. Beers, wines, spirits, soju, anything that’s on the menu really. Don’t they have this in England?

Me: Hell no. People would die.

Japan: Why would people die?

Me: Because it’s all you can drink. Does nobody die?

Japan: No, nobody dies. Quite a few people have difficulty standing up. A lot of people fall asleep on the last train and end up at the other side of the city. Some business men will just snooze in McDonalds or on a dry patch of pavement. A fair few others carry on drinking at a karaoke room.

Me: And fight.

Japan: Excuse me?

Me: Well, if nobody dies there must be lots of people fighting. It’s all you can drink.

Japan: There are no fights. I don’t see the connection between drinking as much as you can in a short time scale and fighting with complete strangers.

Me: Really? In England we’re told all the time that binge drinking is the reason for all our social problems.

Japan: It’s not really an issue for me.

Me: But don’t people dress up in fancy dress costume and vomit in bus shelters and harass taxi drivers and invade accident and emergency departments of hospitals and inflict random damage on the general infrastructure of provincial cities?

Japan: Er, no.

Me: Really? Why not? People are getting drunk.

Japan: Well, I don’t want to sound like an arsehole but maybe the problem isn’t the alcohol that people are pouring down their necks but the people that are doing the drinking.

Me: I never really thought of it like that. Shall we ask England about it?

Japan: Sure.

Me:  England?

England: Yeah?

Me: Hi there. Japan says that the reason your people get drunk and fight in the streets is because they’re all arseholes.

Japan: No, wait a sec-

England: You what? Japan, are you trying to say i’m not friendly?

Japan: No, i didn’t say that. What i meant was-

England: Don’t get smart with me, dickhead.

Japan: Hang on, i’m-

England: Are you looking at my girlfriend?

Japan: Huh? Girlfriend? I didn’t know you had one. I thought you were still America’s bitch.

England: Cheeky fucker. Come here you and let me slap you.

Me: Alright alright, calm down. Come on, listen. Why don’t we just sit down and have a nice cold beer?

England: Yeah, ok, that’d be nice.

Japan: Yeah, why not? Nomihodai?


May 14, 2012. Uncategorized.

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